Aging: The Beast and the Beauty
For those who manage to survive past middle age, there are two words that grow in size and number: New normals. All-of-a-sudden-gradually, they appear. We’re humming along when suddenly we realize something we could do before with ease is now more difficult. This is the first of our new normals. They tend to add up over the years. Physical changes aside, one of the worst aspects of aging is feeling discounted. People no longer see us as relevant.
When I considered these elements of aging I wondered, what ties all this together? I think it’s fear. We fear the diminishments. The fear is so prevalent, it’s actually got a name: Gerascophobia. Or FOGO, Fear of Getting Old, if you prefer something actually pronounceable and memorable. There are studies and statistics about this but I question their accuracy when one study tells us that 87% of us have FOGO and another one tells us that 53% do not. I’m no math genius, but it leaves me saying, huh?
While we love Eeyore, let’s not get caught up in the negative. It’s important to know there is also beauty in aging. As that unnoticed, seemingly irrelevant person, we can be the ultimate observer: The one who pauses, appreciates, embodies a lifetime of earned wisdom to inform our opinions, guide our decisions, and impart knowledge to our peers and the youth coming up behind us. Although the time we have left may be shorter, it can also be richer. Besides, there might yet be happy surprises waiting for us in Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates.
These next poems speak to two possibilities we fear that suddenly appear, gradually.
Fading My rag bag of memories is wearing thin, crumbling to weightless bits floating away on the wind
Molasses I remember the me whose words hopped out like popcorn, bouncing from brain to lips in staccato confidence. Now molasses thoughts mosey along my tongue, taking their time as though a lot of it remained.
This sensitive video by Kelly Boesch eloquently describes the beast and the beauty of aging, with emphasis on the latter. Kelly is an extremely gifted artist who uses AI as her tool of expression. Whether you are for or against the use of AI in artistic creations (or anywhere, for that matter), I hope you will watch her video for its message, and not get caught up in debating its method.
While aging isn’t easy it also has its gifts. It can be your peaceful niche where years of experience give you perspective on the little things that are the important things and the big things that you navigate with aplomb. Whether you are younger or older in your journey, respect yourself through all your ages. Walk in pride and dignity. Be humble but not submissive.
Finally, this is what Substacker, The Old Grey Thinker, had to say about the invisibility aspect. Case in point. He writes perceptively and authentically about retirement, aging, technology and other useful observations. It’s worth your time to visit his site.
I just caught my 18-year-old niece explaining AI to me with that special tone reserved for the digitally challenged elderly.
Little did she know I was coding neural networks when her parents were still dating.
At 67, I’ve become a stealth technologist. I understand the algorithms but play along with the ‘confused senior’ stereotype. It’s become a fascinating sociological experiment – watching people’s surprise when I drop technical knowledge after they’ve finished their well-meaning explanations.
This isn’t just amusement. It’s strategic advantage. Being underestimated creates space – to observe, to think differently, to operate without the pressure of constant performance.
Perhaps aging’s greatest gift isn’t wisdom, but invisibility with insight.
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